Trapped in Sunshine


Dear Eugene,

How far should we let ourselves go before we declare ourselves gone for good?

That's a parent's question, isn't it?  Grace and judgement, nature and nurture, whichever way you put it, we need to both acknowledge the oneness of a unique character and cultivate the diverseness of her aspired potential.  Losing the fine balance we risk dehumanizing a person.

Everybody is as is; nobody is as was.

As long as a story is ongoing, there is change going on: a slight shift, a big innovation, a miraculous metamorphosis.  A person who says I am who I am has given up on herself.  A person who claims anyone "can be anything she puts their mind to" sells a dream only she could afford and only for the time being, well-intentioned maybe, still blind to herself and blinding to others.

It's a very beautiful day, sunshine all around.  Still, illusion and deception are there, out in the open where it's bright and warm and life-giving.  If everyone is just to give a little bit more, this world can do without the sun.  But often we choose to give a little bit less, so even the sun is not enough, the world always cold, everyone always in a bit of a "situation" that we can't seem to live out of.

It is so easy to change.  It is impossible to change.

Yours, Alex

Comments

  1. KateMarch 9, 2019 at 11:18 AM

    Dear Eugene,

    “ ... There is change going on: a slight shift, a big innovation, a miraculous metamorphosis. A person who says I am who I am has given up on herself.”

    Last Sunday for the first time, my teen daughter asked me to help her select some make-up products at a local department store. She had never engaged me in this topic before. Change was swelling in waves. I would soon be awash with the unexpected.

    So she and I headed to the cosmetic counters - and there were many to explore - to swipe, smear and strobe our hands as canvas for colorful experimentation. Rouge in matte or frosted hues; neutral palettes in iridescent lip lacquer; perfectly illuminating face powders in loose and compact formulations; awakening/ voluminizing/ life-saving blush, sheen and liner - all daintily presented in provocative glare with the promise of transforming the impossible. If every woman young or old is to apply just a little bit more sparkle, this world can do without the sun.

    In slow, timid strokes, she glided her fingertips across the surface of beauty on miniature pots. I watched her eyes rising and drowning in desire. The illusion was hypnotic. I could not resist touching glamor on her skin. About 3.5 hours later, we left with a handful of assurance in packages to be uncovered soon by her youthful curiosity.

    It was a very beautiful day, sunshine all around. Letting go before declaring gone for good would have been the last option for a parent dreaming of what is only affordable for one and only for the time being, blind to oneself and to another.

    I am dreamer for sure. Dreaming is beauty, basking in the sun. Let the light infuse pits and fissures with beauty bigger and bolder than the cold, the bit of a “situation”, the disappointments.

    The make-up products for my daughter are now resting in her bathroom shelves, beauty contained in shadows. Spring is coming. It is so easy to change. It is impossible to change.

    On her face and mine, changes are trapped in sunshine, unleashed in the dark, crushed at dawn to revive the lost and abandoned within and among us.

    Yours, Kate


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