Aroused


Dear Eugene,

What is the allure of shopping?  What is so comforting about buying things, things usually we have already many times over or certainly have no urgent need for?

There are books of sociology on this topic.  The obvious reason is it gives us meaning, or distracts us from searching for the true meaning of life, and in that sense one can say it is a sort of ritual: buy, use, disuse, repeat.

The counter-cycle (of reduce, reuse, recycle), like apophatic theology, to approach life's question by negation and speak only in terms of what should not be affirmed, is unsexy.  We might be utterly confused about what sex actually is but are convinced by marketers that unsexiness is deplorable, and thus should strive to negate the negatives as a way to lay claim to have achieved something positive.  We've been apophatic all along but who's keeping track?

Today I wandered in a mall.  Rain and wind; what else can I do?  (Actually many other things.)  The experience made me start to detest Christmas songs, a demythologizing that I didn't think possible in me.

But everybody's happy.  Shopping is comforting.  It has a true allure to it--no cynicism here at all.  I didn't ask the question but the question again came to me: Why?  Why is shopping so...meaningful, dare I say?

And an answer came right after.  It's an interesting answer, I think, so I will just spit it out: shopping is a polite way to say I agree.

I agree this, my life as is, is my lot, and my lot ain't bad.  I could do better, but before that comes, this is good enough, the sight and sound, the warmth, the smell of pastry and coffee and more.

I agree my lot could be much worse--and indeed people with bad lots are everywhere, such as the guy lying in front of Nordstrom with an odor that can't be easily denied by the cornucopia of strong perfume coming through the golden gates.  St. Peter knows which side of the gates he wants to be at and he's waving at me to come in from the cold.

I agree paying a fair price for a fair share of satisfaction is a way to declare we shoppers are in solidarity with each other, standing on a common ground to guard against nothing but our shared live-and-let-live-ness.  We are peaceable and appeasable and a situation like this can't be bad.

I agree with how the world is run, despite minor complains about things I shall revisit in January and maybe address by mid-year if life's many demands would loosen their hold on and allow me to ease into deeper reflection and wider responsiveness.  Epiphany descends; I can't plan to ascend.

I agree as I am told that I should be happy and anything less is ungratefulness on my part.  There are many shapes and colors to happiness, and the mall is where one gets to choose.  I should be thankful for the many happy options readily available to me.

What is just as important about shopping is that we are polite about our desires.  We don't turn violent to realize our dream at the expense of others'.  We would smile and even nod if we touched a fellow dreamer with no intention bad or good; we don't plan to touch any stranger in caring for our hunger and for the occasional accidents we are sincerely sorry and expect swift forgiveness.

Shopping is really a utopian dream come true, as sexy as it is sexless, in it a good civilization shows her true naked power over her agreeable subjects.  I can't deny it: it's a charming dream that gets me all aroused.

Yours, Alex

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