I Thought It Was There for Good


Dear Eugene,

"No one can do to us what we are not already doing to ourselves."  I've been reflecting much on this proposition lately.

Do you know who said this?  I don't.  I am sure someone said it.  I am sure many people said it sometimes.  I am sure not many people lived it.  I am sure if one is to try it's usually short-lived.

Because the alternatives are prepackaged, tried-proven-and-true, well priced for quick consumption readily available along the Costco aisles of life.  To blame is to gain what is not mine.  (I am sure this last line is my original.)

But sure enough there are things that are done to us?  Slavery.  Sickness.

Surgery?

Like I am lying there and they cut me open and take stuffs from me in the name of salvation?  I might have a say in a couple of narrowed down areas before and--hopefully--after but during the cutting open I'm just a piece of dead meat.  Surely a surgery was done to me.

If you say so, Alex.

If we speak so.  Our language determines the meaning.  Dictates.

Yes, and thanks, 
For the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good
So I never tried

From one of my favorite Cohen songs.

How does one "take" trouble away from another person?  And from the "eyes" too?  Surely it didn't actually happen.  Surely it never will.  Surely the transaction is not verifiable, no receipt given, no cashier to register the give and take.  Surely fantasy talk like this can never be as real as getting my Costco receipt finally highlighted and my happy family back to our 8-airbags automobile triumphant?  Surely a surgical knife is a more cut-and-dried statement on what actually transpired during my helpless state of being done to?

To blame is to gain what is not mine and lose what is given me.

I'll leave it at that.  Enough for a busy day ahead.  But this day won't happen to me.  I am walking towards it.

Yours, Alex

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