I Know


Dear Eugene,

Do you think we will be surprised after we died and finally know what is on "the other side"?

(To say there is nothing beyond this life is as wild a guess as saying there is.  So let's be an equal-opportunist and go with the latter to play along.)

I imagine whatever we are going to "know" then is going to be strangely familiar, yet unlike anything we've ever "known" before.

Less than a week ago I declared myself a failed father.  I said I have not done enough to engage my kids in a life of giving and now they are growing up with not the DNA of sacrificial generosity in their blood.  My bad blood flows in them, and it is squarely my fault.

I was right, and I still am--from the perspective I chose to know myself.

But this past weekend God revealed the fuller truth, something I knew all along and have been clever enough to pass myself off as living under its light.

You are a failed father because you have not loved enough.

Like, Dah.

One word of difference; a world of difference.  Going from "this side" to "the other side" with not so much trouble as renewing an expired passport, getting a death certificate to "go beyond" the current state of knowing and understanding, feeling and acting.

Of course we know.  Of course we want the world to know us for being in the know.  Everything we put on our face(book) is to declare to the world: I know it is about love, justice and goodness, hope and beauty, acceptance and understanding, to care and to give, to defend and protect, to preserve and flourish; I believe in all that.  Come and see.  Click on this to say you know I know and I know you know.

 I know love.  I love well.  I am love.

 And I am a monster.  Alex

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