Found and Lost

Dear Eugene,

What a brilliant morning, happening in the here and now, as brilliant as I have ever taken any in.

I meant to question with the last statement if the brilliance is in what's happening out there or how I absorb this morning and make it so in the sanctuary of my heart.

No one should philosophize on a Monday morning.  But I do know my kids had problem waking up so whatever that was out there had no chance to break in.  The breeze they'll feel on their face walking to school won't be the same that blessed me.

That is if there is still any breeze at all.



I believe in the Kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes, I'm still running

 You broke the bonds
and you loosened chains
carried the cross of my shame, of my shame
You know I believe it

 But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for

I remember U2 doing one of their signature songs "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for" with a gospel choir.  One might find it strange of all places that it is in a church where people are free and safe to scream their lungs out to confess their lostness.

Isn't religion the place to end all quests?  Isn't to find rest a call to cease and desist from any further questioning, settle into the "simple gospel truth" and let things be?

There are eight new books on my table, I've counted them just now: a collection of short stories, a spy novel, one memoir, one biography, one book about grieving, one about dying, two about sexuality.  And Rowan Williams' big book on theology is still staring at my back, beckoning me back to the arena.  So nine, actually.

But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for

 Some says the Bible is all we need and that's where all the answers are.  I suspect such a person rarely reads the Bible or reads it often but reads it wrong and certainly reads it partial, in both senses of the word.

The Bible is where I got the idea that I need to question everything, face demons, and wrestle with God.

Yours, Alex

Comments

  1. TimMay 28, 2018 at 3:28 PM

    And then there were so many times when I was not looking for something/someone... and I found them anyway. Your friendship, Alex, would be one of those.

    ReplyDelete

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