The Test
Dear Eugene,
This morning I got to sleep in for another 20 odd minutes, just enough to finish up a nightmare.
I was running around in UBC, my alma mater, trying to reach the room where I am going to take a math test. I thought I knew my way but was all wrong. Then I went into strange corridors and eventually fell into a bog. A pretty standard, by-the-numbers bad dream.
I woke up and thought, Well, I'm glad that was only a dream. After all in real life I have only one math test to attend to, no call for such high-strung melodrama...
Then I woke up from my waking up and realized, No, I don't even have one math test to attend to in real life!
Then I woke up yet again from my waking up to the waking up and realized, No, in real life every step is a test. The same way in The Odyssey Penelope tests Odysseus to prove his identity, asking him (actually Eurycleia) to do something that the real Odysseus would know better the difficulty and damage in carrying out the request.
The real Odysseus would get upset about the proposition. The same way the real mother would give up everything in her to stop Solomon from chopping up her baby.
"If you are the Son of God..."
"If you are the king of the Jews..."
"If, Alex, you are really who you say you are, that you are a true WYSIWYG, a real follower of Jesus..."
Then...what?
Talk about melodrama, I remember nothing but two about the scant Hong Kong TV shows I watched during my childhood. (Bless my parents for keeping the TV off almost always.) Of the two things I remember the impression is vivid, down to the face of every actor. Both plot involve the revelation of a character's true character: one appears to be a moral guru to the young and impressionable but is a sycophant of the most subservient kind at his office, another a lawyer who's supposed to be a good guy with high ideal but worked for the devil until the final plot twist of self-redemption--as the story goes...
Well, that's life, what-you-see-is-NOT-what-you-get. Everybody knows, no call for such high-strung melodrama...
Put your money where your mouth is, they say, but money (and with it, power, repute, and comfort) is what seals the mouth up real good and, to be fair, might let half-truth slip out--but only on an as-needed basis, when the sun is shining, everyone is feeling awesome, and the party is loud enough to drown out our yearnings, sorrows, and self-disgust.
"When we are brought to be where Jesus is in baptism we let our defences down so as to be where he is, in the depths of human chaos. And that means letting our defences down before God. Openness to the Spirit comes as we go with Jesus to take this risk of love and solidarity." In Jesus we are given our only chance to be fully open, wholly imaginative to the possibility of being truly and truthfully human, authentically faithful, honestly hopeful, creatively loving.
"If, Alex, you are really who you say you are, that you are a true WYSIWYG, a real follower of Jesus..."
Then...what?
Yours, Alex
This morning I got to sleep in for another 20 odd minutes, just enough to finish up a nightmare.
I was running around in UBC, my alma mater, trying to reach the room where I am going to take a math test. I thought I knew my way but was all wrong. Then I went into strange corridors and eventually fell into a bog. A pretty standard, by-the-numbers bad dream.
I woke up and thought, Well, I'm glad that was only a dream. After all in real life I have only one math test to attend to, no call for such high-strung melodrama...
Then I woke up from my waking up and realized, No, I don't even have one math test to attend to in real life!
Then I woke up yet again from my waking up to the waking up and realized, No, in real life every step is a test. The same way in The Odyssey Penelope tests Odysseus to prove his identity, asking him (actually Eurycleia) to do something that the real Odysseus would know better the difficulty and damage in carrying out the request.
The real Odysseus would get upset about the proposition. The same way the real mother would give up everything in her to stop Solomon from chopping up her baby.
"If you are the Son of God..."
"If you are the king of the Jews..."
"If, Alex, you are really who you say you are, that you are a true WYSIWYG, a real follower of Jesus..."
Then...what?
Talk about melodrama, I remember nothing but two about the scant Hong Kong TV shows I watched during my childhood. (Bless my parents for keeping the TV off almost always.) Of the two things I remember the impression is vivid, down to the face of every actor. Both plot involve the revelation of a character's true character: one appears to be a moral guru to the young and impressionable but is a sycophant of the most subservient kind at his office, another a lawyer who's supposed to be a good guy with high ideal but worked for the devil until the final plot twist of self-redemption--as the story goes...
Well, that's life, what-you-see-is-NOT-what-you-get. Everybody knows, no call for such high-strung melodrama...
Put your money where your mouth is, they say, but money (and with it, power, repute, and comfort) is what seals the mouth up real good and, to be fair, might let half-truth slip out--but only on an as-needed basis, when the sun is shining, everyone is feeling awesome, and the party is loud enough to drown out our yearnings, sorrows, and self-disgust.
"When we are brought to be where Jesus is in baptism we let our defences down so as to be where he is, in the depths of human chaos. And that means letting our defences down before God. Openness to the Spirit comes as we go with Jesus to take this risk of love and solidarity." In Jesus we are given our only chance to be fully open, wholly imaginative to the possibility of being truly and truthfully human, authentically faithful, honestly hopeful, creatively loving.
"If, Alex, you are really who you say you are, that you are a true WYSIWYG, a real follower of Jesus..."
Then...what?
Yours, Alex
Dear Eugene,
ReplyDeleteWhy do I think about tests & figs? Or why should you care?
To begin, I have nightmares of math tests too but they would be seasonally recurrent & they relentlessly include science exams, all of which marked my deepest academic horrors throughout my 5 years in 4 distinct high schools followed by my melodramatic decade of more exams in 3 colleges. WYSIWYG punctuates the purpose of test-taking: a measurable demonstration of one's aptitude and mastery (or failure) of comprehension; a potential gateway to access privileges solely granted to top performers. I scored, and therefore, I won. WYSIWYG: power, repute & comfort. Or did I really win in these nightmares?
But what if we return to our dreams & careened through another corridor - beyond & above the bog - to discover another realm where the ultimate Test of Life is celebrated & possibly desired? What if the Test is individually & uniquely designed for each of us to receive the most spectacular gift of joy - along with power, repute & comfort for the least to be the greatest - simply accessible if we believe. WYSIWYG.
Now back to tests & figs: "Though the fig tree does not bud & there are no grapes on the vines, thought the olive crop fails & the fields produce no food... I will be joyful in God my Savior... for he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights" (Habukkuk 3:17-18)
The test of the fig analogy is for you & me. What-you-see-is-NOT-what-you-get in life. Scores may disappoint;
nightmares on nightmares swell. Take the Test of Life, entrust the outcome into the Sovereign Hands of the Test Creator & we are promised the "chance to be fully open, wholly imaginative to the possibility of being truly and truthfully human, authentically faithful, honestly hopeful, creatively loving."
Yours,
Echo