Bleeding Heart

Dear Eugene,

How is your summer?

Mine is shaping up to be probably the most stressful summer of my life.  I haven't been writing to you too much lately, only because there really is too much I want to write to you about.

I hear that you too had been entwined in controversy lately, about an "issue" that I know one day you will need to speak about one way or another.

Over these past many years since knowing you, I had the scenarios played out in my head, trying to "see" how you would answer when one day you are put on the spot.

The reality actually played out the way I imagined it.  You don't believe me?  Just ask my wife.  I verbalized my imagination more than a few times to her over the years.  I told her already your answer will not be the kind that people want, the kind that they could tweet and use your "position" to support their own prejudice.  I told her your answer will be the bleeding heart of a pastor.

And yes, a bleeding heart is what we see, but only by those whose heart beats to the rhythm of the Trinitarian dance.  My teacher, my pastor, how I adore and admire you!  I've known too many pastors--religion practitioners--who find no need, let alone pain, to struggle with this question.  They are quick to answer, only because the faces they see are easy to dismiss.

About a week ago I talked to my wife about Henri Nouwen's "Return of the Prodigal Son."  I told her about Christian friends I know who posted quote after quote by Nouwen on their Facebook but would absolutely disown him if they could read between the lines of this book and truly understand what he was struggling with.  Nouwen would have wept like a baby if he got to watch "Brokeback Mountain."

I love you, only because God first loved us.  Alex

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