Tears

Dear Eugene,

Today I saw something so beautiful that I was in a way reinvigorated and another haunted by it even now.

It was Youth Ministry Sunday at my church.  My kids are both in the band, and thus we arrived really early for practice.  One of the vocalists girl arrived late, not terribly, but she felt bad enough that the "I'm sorry" came out of her lips was baptized with tears.

What a beautiful sight to behold!  “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  How true!  How true!

The girl is not a "child" anymore, more like in her late teens.  Cynics and marketers take advantage of youth's being impressionable; Jesus loves them for their being impassioned.

If being an adult means I would never feel sorry for something as small as being late, or apologize without meaning it, then let me never grow up!  We adults might have our "atonement theology" all worked out in our little heads, but when was the last time we feel bad about--let alone confess to each others--our sins, big or small?

We have our neat ways to explain how the Cross "works," but in reality live like Christ's crucifixion is unnecessary high drama, couldn't make enough difference to us if God was to do it any other ways as long as he gets us to "heaven."  We are so deprived of the Living Water that even on Good Friday it was impossible to squeeze a drop of tear out of us; no wonder on Easter we could hardly be tickled.  Whereas Peter, after meeting the resurrected Jesus and filled by his Spirit, was bouncing around like an Easter bunny to herald the Good News, we sat politely on the same church pew to hatch our own teensy-weensy eggs.  All lip service, that what we are!  How could we say the word Pharisee without knowing we are calling our own very name?  How could we miss that for every finger that we point out there are three that point back?

I pray to God as I am typing now that I shall never live to see the day when I can no longer feel the pain of the world or cry over my own sins.  Repent I must.  It is not too late.

Thanking God for one more chance, Alex

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